Saturday, November 19, 2011

Date her or no???

My ex girlfriend just broke up with a guy. She was in the relationship for almost a year. She knows I like her still and she wants to date me now, but I feel its to soon to date her. I told her I don’t want to be a rebound and she tells me that she would never do that to me. As much as I want to date her I don’t feel she is ready to deal with another relationship. I want our relationship to last so I want to wait, but I know she doesn’t want to. I’m afraid that if I do wait she’ll grow tired of waiting and not give me another chance. I have waited almost three years for another chance with her… what should I do???

Date her or no???
Give her a chance to prove you are not her rebound guy. take things very very slow.
Reply:Wait, a little bit. Don't wait long enough for her to move on and not want to be with you anymore. But since she just broke up with another guy, she will need time to fully get over him. She may say that she is over him, but come on...it was almost a year. Give it time and then try and date her and see how it works out.
Reply:Why wait?? You may die tomorrow, or maybe she will. You have to live for today. When I met my husband, he had only been split up from his ex for about 2 weeks. She had only just moved out the week before. That was almost 2 years ago. Give it a shot. What do you have to lose?
Reply:date her because she devers anthother chance.
Reply:NO
Reply:i was the re-bound girl once,


but everyone deserves a second chance..


give it a try. =]
Reply:i think that you should wait, you dont want to rush her into another relationship if she isnt ready for it. start talking to her so she knows that you still like her, and maybe go on a date when you feel she is ready because when i just breakup with someone, i dont like to rush into another relationship, wait maybe a month.





hope this helps.


=]
Reply:I would still wait. No matter what she tells you, you will more then likely be the rebound. Girls don't like to be alone. And here you are willing to keep her from being that way. What girl wouldn't take the opportunity. Right? I think you should be there for her definitely, but you should not get into a relationship with her, until you feel she is ready. Besides, if she really wants to be with you, and wouldn't hurt you, or put you through the pain, then she will understand, and work with you.
Reply:If you both want each other then what's the problem? Just date her. If it's meant to be, it will regardless of how soon after her last relationship.
Reply:I think you should really sit down and have a conversation with her about this. Maybe there is something you don't know about the relationship. Maybe she was done with him for a long time and they finally decided it wasn't worth continuing?
Reply:I'd say that all people need a break after a long relationship to get the person you were with out of your system. If you feel it's right, go for it, but take it slow. Let her know that it's for her sake of just getting out of a relationship. Great relationships are built from even better friendships, so she should respect your honesty.
Reply:give her a chance, before she does find someone else and you have to wait another year. Just make sure you tell her your true feelings. So she doesn't hurt you. Good luck
Reply:Lemme tell you something. I was in the same predicament, but the other way around. I moved to Vegas from NC about a year and a half ago. I left my boyfriend of 3 years... He had issues to deal with, like going to prison. Sounds bad, but it really wasn't. So while I was in Vegas, I found a guy whom I didn't really like at the time... But he kinda grew on me. So I gave him a chance. Things didn't work out so well. He was more like the girl than I was. I hate that. So I told him to leave. A couple days later, outta the blue, my ex from NC called me and said that he missed me, blah blah blah, I wont bore you with details. Needless to say, he came out to visit me %26amp; we both decided to come back to NC %26amp; start fresh. Things are way rough right now, but we are stickin thru it.





So I say, if you love her. Go for it.





Like they all say- It's better to have love %26amp; lost, then to have never loved at all.
Reply:it would be easier to tell you if i knew y u broke up but any ways...when people break up its usally because they like somebody else or the guy or girls cheats if you broke up with her and she dated someone else you should ask her out agen because obviously she moved on n now she wants you back ..but if she broke up with you then i think you should forget about her because if you think about it she left yyou and went with someone else obviously she loved him so how about if the same thing happens with u and while she dating you they talk and she breaks up with you to date her x boyfriend..i think you should talk to her about her relationship with her x and tell her y she wants you back if she lasted so long with her x and clearly she loved him ?ask her why they broke up and why your diffrent from this other guy :)
Reply:I'm gonna disagree with the majority opinion here, and tell you this: go ahead and date her, and see what happens. It's not your place to assume that she's unable to have a healthy relationship with you... you may be sabotaging the possibility of a relationship based on a wrong assumption. And maybe, you're not giving her enough credit for being able to figure out what she wants.





Maybe it won't work out; maybe it will. If it doesn't, it's probably because you weren't meant to be together to begin with. I don't think waiting until later will change that.
Reply:Follow your instinct. I think you know the answer, you just don't like it. Sounds like she is using you as the "go to" guy when she is between relationships, I hope I'm wrong.





You certainly have reason to be cautious, why did she break up before. How well did you get along when you were together? What has changed that will make your relationship better? A few things to think about..





Sometimes we want to be with someone that really isn't good for us, end result is nobody is happy. You can't expect a good relationship if there is no trust. Long term relationships have alot to do with friendship, common interests, common values and not just sex.





Bottom line, I'd put ask her some of these questions. Why does she want to get back together? Why does she think it "will work" this time? Why is she breaking up with her boyfriend? What does YOUR GUT tell you?


Good luck, I bet there is a better deserving girl out there for you.
Reply:Take it slow and be careful.


Will i get a second date?

i went on a date with an ex-coworker.......we kissed three times throughout the night and we hit it off pretty well. im really interested in a second date with him but i dont want to come off as needy. i sent him a text the night after thanking him for a good time (i am starting to question if that was a good move). he does reply, however, saying we should do it again, but doesnt specify a date. i know posting this question on the internet alone is a sure sign of desperation but please cut me some slack and give me an honest answer........ guys, if you intended on going to a second date with a girl, wouldnt you specify a date? also, would it put you off if a girl took the initiative and texted you the night after a first date to tell you she had a good time? thank you!

Will i get a second date?
The logical, kind, adult thing for a man to do is of course to be clear as a bell about future plans. But sadly that's not the "hard to get" game that society teaches both men and women in advice columns, girlie magazines, discussions with friends, etc. It's gamesmanship designed to make the other person more desperate for them (and apparently it's working rather well on you -- j/k).





So yeah, he's just following the "rule" of waiting up to a week before contacting you again. Trying to get inside your head, to get you to think about him. That's what that tactic does, to both men and women.





(Frankly, when younger I used to be the sort you ask for: the kind who would be all planned out and punctual and clear. Well, females apparently lost interest in that predictable approach, I can tell you! ... Today, I just think that it's best if the two people are real, and not playing games. I like naturalism. Just being one's self, no games, no flirting, no strategizing. Not necessarily all planned out, but going with the flow and not trying to trick the other. It's best.)





Anyhow, I don't think you blew it with the short text message. Just hold off on any more. Remember that he's strategizing. Plus, any more messages and he'll smell desperation.





Or, maybe I'm wrong, and he's just really, really busy. This is quite possible in today's fast-paced world.





Either way, just give it some space and do some other things for the next week. Try not to think about it much and fill up your schedule with other things. (Might even go on a first date with another fellow and create more opportunities and choices for yourself! ;) Who's holding you back?)
Reply:I would be flattered if you texted a thank you. You need to wait and see. He has to be aggresive to catch a girl otherwise you may not respect him. You don't mention common interests. What is there about him that is so interesting you want to see him again?
Reply:Most men would you give a specific day and time for a second or third date. Are you sure he is interested in you?


If so, why do you think he is? Dating does not mean he likes you. Okay?
Reply:Idiots follow the rules .


Since he is one of em he follows it too .


(3day rule)


Should I date him or not?

I have a dilema like most of you...here's my story. There's this guy who likes me alot and I think he's okay too. The problem is: He's the brother of my cousins husband. My cousin married this guy and this guy has a younger brother. He's 26 and I'm 28. He knows I've never dated before nor have I ever been in a relationship with anyone. I recently told him my age yet he continues to like me. The other problem is: is he in a way my cousin? I never thought about it until my friend brought it up and told me that he's my cousin indireclty since his brother married my cousin. Is that true? I need advice as to what am I suppose to do. He likes me alot and he shows it by texting me everyday and calling me to see how I'm doing. He also stated that he really likes me and won't do anything to hurt me in any way. He knows I have insecurities when it comes to dating. I told him I don't trust guys as far as dating goes. He says he'll be patient until I'm ready to date. What should I do? Thank you.

Should I date him or not?
No he is not your cousin. Therefore you are more than free to date him but if things don't work out and you don't stay on friendly terms then it might be an awkward situation wh;en everyone gets together......so you have to decide if you really like him.....but then again, he might be Mr. Perfect for you and you will let him get away. I really think that you should give it a try....talk to him and get to know him and then decide how far to take it. But atleast give it a chance.....and remember age it's just a number.
Reply:why don't you try him out?
Reply:He is no relation to you. He is your cousin's brother-in-law. That's it.


I think that you should talk to him about the two of you dating. Tell him that you want to take it slow, though, because you like him back, but you aren't sure how to deal with a boyfriend-type relationship. From the way you describe him, he sounds like he'll understand.
Reply:He's not a blood cousin, but its not like he's not related at all. I think its cool to date him if you want. Why shouldn't he like you beacuse you are older ?
Reply:In western culture this is called "kissing cousins".


Most marriages in So India and royal families take place with such cousins to keep the property in the family,etc. As long as u are 7 generations without shared genetic heritage u are safe from the cootie monster. My family tried to hook me up with a cutie cousin, but i didnt want to get cooties.
Reply:If you like this guy then you should go for it. This is nothing like dating your cousin, the guy that married your cousin may now be your cousin but only by marriage, and this is his brother. There may be some link between you, but this indirect marital link shouldn't stop you from this relationship. Shame on your friend for making you feel bad about it.


Movie or date?

Alright Im not used to this dating stuff orreading signals so ill keep it short.





so way back this chick was flirting with me...at least i think so. Asked her if she wanted to go to a movie, we went to the movie and i could tell she was having a good time, we even went out to dinner after and then grabbed a coffee. Then days later a coworker asked her how was the date (I wasnt actually there) she said that we were hanging out and not dating.





So i kinda felt guilt so i ignored her for a bit. Then we talked again and she told me that she loved the last movie and wants to see another with me. so i agreed and she wants to go out for dinner again. There are other factors but its confusing. Do you think its just a friendly movie or a date? its confusing me

Movie or date?
she is probably like you and doesnt want to be embarrassed if it turned out that you didnt want it to be a date. Ask her bout sounds like she wants to call it a date but shes not sure how you feel.
Reply:Ask her to a Movie, then have a chat at a fast food place. Talk a lot, but l think it will sort it out in The Movies, if she wants to be, Close to You.

dental bridge

Do most black men date white women for the wrong reasons?

I got into a talk about this with a friend of mine who is currently has a white girlfriend. I told him I won't date a white woman and it's not because of anything I have against them, but because I believe in black families. I believe that with all the damage that's been done to black families in history, it's important that we have strong, healthy black families to build better black communities.





He wasn't really seeing my point and after talking more with him about why he's dating a white woman, it became more clear to me that he's one of the many black men I believe date white women simply because they are a trophy....it's a social status thing. These black men see dating a white woman as "dating up". And they flaunt their white girlfriends when they go out to the clubs and places.





For you others out there, especially African-Americans, do you think this is real or just in my head? And is it a problem?

Do most black men date white women for the wrong reasons?
I'm a white woman and you don't have to worry...I wouldn't ever date a black man. And before I start getting screamed at for being racist, I don't hate black people, I just don't find any black men attractive. Some women don't like short men, or fat men or bald men...I'm not attracted to black men.
Reply:It's NOT in your head. And it's not just black men, but asians, indians, hispanics that believe that by being with a white girl that they are superior to girls of their own race. I've seen minority men with ugly, mean, treat them like sh-t white girls who would rather be with them than another girl that would treat them better/


It goes back to that mentality that whites(men then women) are at the top, and at the bottom are women of color (beneath the men of color)Everyone knows it, people are just afraid to say it.


People's mentality have to change! I've seen a hispanic man, raised by a single mom that did everything for him , turn his back on his own race and strictly date only white. Isn't that a slap in the face to his hispanic mother when he denigrates women like who she is?





Ignorant people may call you a racist but you are not.





You are just telling the truth the everyone knows but are afraid to admit to. Yes, there are multi-racial relationships that are successful and those are the ones based on mutual love and acceptance,these ******** " I'm the man cause i got a white chick flings" do nothing but enforce the negative stereotypes.
Reply:As a white guy, I prefer black ladies. Every time I see a black guy with a blond, I think to myself, there's a nother black girl who is single. I don't really think of the girls as trophys, I just prefer the features that black girls have. Predominately the bigger rears and lips. I also love natural black hair but unfortunately many prefer to "whiten" it up.





Your friend may just prefer the features that white girls have, softer skin, thinner hair, and empty heads. Just kidding on the last one. Some people date interracially just to have something different. Besides there has been so much mixture over the centuries nobody is truly black or white anymore.
Reply:personally i think they do it because there is so much, i want to say hate?, between black women. whether it be jealousy, or just a bad attitude. now i'm not saying that thats the only race that does it because females just in general can be mean to eachother but i guess its more obvious in the black community.





also, black/white dating is not a problem. don't forget there is really only one race (human race) so if two people love eachother why should they be stopped just because they don't have the same skin color?


you said: "I believe that with all the damage that's been done to black families in history, it's important that we have strong, healthy black families to build better black communities" how does having a black family make them strong, healthy, and build better communities? i agree if all black families were strong and healthy there would be more success among us but having a strong healthy family goes beyond race...
Reply:i **** em i dont date em
Reply:Well im black and to me its not a question of race. I just like women of all races. Its not because i dont like my black women.
Reply:black women do the same thing.


Sexy Blind-Date, Any clue?...?

I am planing a date for a couple friends that are very shy and do not know each other.


She agreed to go if the date it’s interesting so I offered to formulate a date of something like a ‘Clue Rally’ where they both can follow some clues and quizzes to acquire coupons for the restaurants and bars that they are supposed to visit for the night.


Example: -She will have an internet link for a Restaurant coupon inscribed somewhere on her body, so he will have to look for it. -later, I arranged a free dinner course for them if they kiss at the restaurant entrance, ETC.





So the question is: Do you have any suggestion of something sexy for them to do while in the date?. Or any challenge for them to follow?.





Thanxs :p

Sexy Blind-Date, Any clue?...?
This is not a good blind date, especially if you are dealing with shy people. Making the guy search the womens body and kiss her before he even knows her will probably make him feel uncomfortable. Also, I doubt the women will be so generous, especially if she's shy. Why don't you just have them show up at the same location for dinner and see what happens from there?
Reply:She will go "if it's interesting"? WHat a good friend you are and what a high maintenance ***** she is....whatever happened to getting to know someone...if your friend has to jump through hoops to please her before he even knows her and is willing to do it, have at that.
Reply:Personally, if I was a very shy girl, I don't think I'd much care for this idea. I get that you're trying to set your friends up and want them to be happy, but don't put them in an awkward situation like that. It isn't fair to either of them.


Date or not????

I like this kid named Chris. We use to be bff's when we were litle. we haven't met up in a while. Until our dads called eachhother and we went out to dinner. thats when i new i li ked him. I am not aloud to date yet. I am starting this summer. I want to date. Chris's best friend Austin goes to my school. Austin was like ,"Chris wants to go out with you. Wil you go out with him?" and i wrote him a note saying a no very nicely. I felt so bad cuz i rele did like him. and tonite i am goin to chris's house! i am so excitited....but what if he asks me out again....but in person... i wont know what to say! i will be so nervous....what should i say when he does? if he does. how should i react. i wnt to date him but my mom would sooooo find out.... help me plz!

Date or not????
I sya you say yes, but you have to wait till summer :) that way hell no you still liek him and youll b able to obey thre rules
Reply:Give him a date. It could be a lot of fun for both of you. You really don't have much to lose but a lot to gain.
Reply:well say yes but don't get to excited and tell him about the summer thing and maybe he will undersand and then you can go out in the summer








gd luck
Reply:i would say yea but not in front of your parents and i have a boyfriend my parents don't know about i just talked to him on my cell phone and on myspace and we have dated for 3 weeks