Should we change wedding date for grandmother (still 1 yr away)?

Our wedding date was set 2 months ago. We have reserved the planner, hall, location, %26amp; Rabbi. We set our wedding date %26amp; we gave 2 wks to check schedules %26amp; make sure that the date worked. A brother had a prior engagement %26amp; let us know, so we were happy to change it for him. Now 2 months later, a grandmother has called %26amp; demanded that we change the wedding date because her nephew is having his Bar Mitzvah the same day. The Bar Mitzvah was scheduled after we set our wedding date %26amp; she forgot to tell her brother when they asked. The Bar Mitzvah service %26amp; luncheon are in the morning, %26amp; a party is planned for the evening. Our wedding is an evening ceremony, so technically they could attend %26amp; support both events. She has called to tell us how selfish we are %26amp; that the wedding is no longer joyous. She does not care if by changing the day if means others can’t attend or we have to change everything. I have tried to change it, but the dates for this venue are booked for months.

Should we change wedding date for grandmother (still 1 yr away)?
First come, first served. You scheduled your wedding date first so you get to keep it on that day.





Nothing selfish, but a wedding is much harder to schedule than a Bar Mitzvah. And I like your attitude that both can be done. I don't see you expecting the Bar Mitzvah to be changed because it's your wedding day. You sound like an unselfish bride.





But I wouldn't go into this with my grandmother. Let your mom or dad take care of dealing with her. Whichever one belongs to her. That person can deal with it better and save you from the stress.
Reply:grandma is being really rude. i would definitely not change the date. then later she'll find another reason that she can't make it and the date will have to be changed again. sounds like grandma isn't to enthused about the marriage, especially since she can really make it. tell her you're sorry that she won't be able to make it and go on and have a great wedding and marriage...





good luck.
Reply:this woman is using her age to her advantage, as if everyone will bend to her will. life isn't fair so if she doesn't get to attend both events, that's how the cookie crumbles. if this bar mitzvah date was chosen after your wedding date, you have no obligation to change your date. you've already changed it once! when you're inviting 100 or more people, odds are that 20-30% of the invitees have a scheduling conflict and can't make it.
Reply:Many people these days don't realize how hard it is to set a date that works for all of those involved and still works with the venue, planner, etc. It's not like the old days when you could set a date a few months in advance. A lot of dates have to be set for over a year. I think your grandmother is wrong in this situation. Leave the plans the way they are and enjoy yourself. You've already done the best that you could do.
Reply:What a selfish act she is A Nephews Bar Mitzvah is more important than a grandchilds wedding?


How rude! Certainly as it is her own fault.





Stick to your guns is my opinion. She should ask her brother to change the date if it is that important to her
Reply:A wedding is ALWAYS joyous, and I always laugh at the irony when selfish people accuse others of the same behavior! You did nothing wrong. Let her fuss and fume all she wants---you keep your date and be happy about your upcoming wedding. She'll relax and get over it by the time the big day rolls around.
Reply:No - You answered your own question..


"I have tried to change it, but the dates for this venue are booked for months."


It's nice that you tried to make grandma happy even though she sounds hard to please - hopefully she will understand this at some point before your wedding and choose to attend.
Reply:You have done what you could. Explain to grandma as nicely as you can that you can not and will not change your wedding day.
Reply:ignore her!!! i would NOT be changing my date for such a selfish person. theirs came AFTER!!


really some people need to grow up!


if they dont want to attend then your day will be better without them
Reply:My 2 cents...don't stress, don't change the date, and don't mind your grandmother. I'm sure by the time the wedding roles around she will have gotten over it or has been talked into accepting the fact her day will have 2 events instead of only one.





Relax and don't let anyone's stubborness get in the way of your happiness :)





Shalom!





EDIT If it's 1 entire year away, I'm sure you or can talk your uncle/aunt into changing the date of the Bar Mitzvah temples are far more overbooked when it comes to weddings than when it comes to BMs
Reply:don't change the date because your waisting your life time





GO HAVE FUN THERE


I Wish You All The Best
Reply:Your dear grandmother is being an extremely rude and selfish *****! DON'T change the date of your wedding, you set the date before the bar mitzvah was announced, it's not your fault she 'forgot' to tell her brother about your wedding! Go ahead with your wedding on the date as planned and if she really does care about her granddaughter then she will be there. I honestly can't believe how rude some people are.....
Reply:No matter what date you pick, someone can't make it. Since she is being rude, you do not have to accomodate her. She is the one being selfish, not you. If the date was a concern, she should have mentioned something beforehand but since she didn't, you are not obligated to change it again.
Reply:go ahead with ur plan. u've already informed the date so no fault with u. if they come and attend on the same day let them come, if they don't come dont feel bad.
Reply:You are probably going to get flack no matter what you do so I think since your date was planned before the other event came up you should keep it. Grandma will just have to adapt.

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